Leaving Home to Find Ourselves: A Military Family’s One-Way Ticket to Finland

By an Air Force veteran, father of three, and accidental house husband

Can you imagine packing up your entire family and moving overseas?

Not a vacation. Not a “let’s try it for a year” experiment.

I’m talking about the full commitment: kids, dog, luggage, careers—everything.

That’s exactly what we did in January 2025.

My wife received military orders for a Bilateral Affairs Officer position working with the Finnish Defence Command. She was selected as the first person tasked with building the foundation for the State Partnership Program between Virginia and Finland. No pressure—just international cooperation, diplomacy, and long-term military relationships.

Honestly, I can’t think of a better person or logistician for the job. And yes, I say that as her husband and someone who has seen her plan a PCS down to the last zip tie.

I’d Moved Overseas Before—Just Never Like This

I’m no stranger to moving overseas. I spent years in the U.S. Air Force, and international assignments come with the territory. The difference?

I was single.

Moving abroad as a single service member is basically a controlled adventure. You pack two bags, show up, and figure it out. Moving overseas with a family—especially with three young kids—is an entirely different sport.

It’s less “adventure” and more “organized chaos with snacks.”

When my wife was offered this opportunity, we knew one thing immediately: if we said no, we’d regret it for the rest of our lives. So we said yes.

Oh—and we brought the dog too. Because why not increase the difficulty level?

From Dual Income to Air Force Dependa

There was one small detail we hadn’t fully wrapped our heads around at first: my job wouldn’t allow me to telework from Finland.

So just like that, I went from employed professional to stay-at-home dad—or, as military culture lovingly calls it, an Air Force dependa.

This was well outside my wheelhouse.

Back in the States, my wife and I split parenting and household duties pretty evenly. But Finland changed the math. Her commute is longer, her hours can be unpredictable, and TDYs pop up without warning.

So we made a call.

I became the domestic engineer for this adventure. Chief of logistics. Director of snacks. Senior advisor for winter clothing systems.

Let’s Talk About What We Gave Up

Moves like this don’t just change your address—they change your entire operating system.

We went from:

• Two steady incomes

• Predictable schedules

• Easy access to everything

• Amazon next-day delivery

To… none of that.

I still receive my military retirement income, which provides stability, but everything else became fluid. Schedules shift constantly. School events appear out of nowhere. And the convenience we took for granted in the U.S.? Gone.

Finland is a wonderful first-world country with everything you actually need. But if you don’t speak the language or understand the systems, even simple tasks can feel complicated at first.

The upside? Almost everyone speaks English. Public transportation is fantastic. You can get anywhere—it just might take a little longer.

Breaking Up With Amazon (It Wasn’t Mutual)

One of our hardest adjustments has been overcoming our online shopping habits.

Amazon makes it dangerously easy to buy things you don’t need without leaving your house. Over the years, we’d stopped thinking about where to buy things or whether we even needed them at all.

In Finland, online shopping exists—but speed is not the priority.

At first, this drove us nuts.

Then something interesting happened.

We realized how much stuff we had been buying as a coping mechanism for stress, boredom, or convenience. And how much unnecessary crap we’d accumulated in the process.

Letting go of that has been surprisingly freeing.

Although I’ll admit—I still get stressed when I think about all the stuff we have sitting in storage back in Virginia, quietly judging me.

The Journey Started With a Snowstorm

We arrived in Finland in early January 2025, but the adventure actually started a few days earlier.

The East Coast was hit with its first major snow and ice storm—the same day we were supposed to drive from Newport News to New York to catch our flight out of JFK.

Perfect timing.

We rented two minivans to haul:

• 18 pieces of luggage

• One dog

• Three young kids

• Two adults who were questioning all their life choices

I had the dog and the luggage. My wife had the kids and all the road-trip food (the most important cargo).

We left Newport News in the middle of the storm, planning to drive north and “see how far we could get.”

Shockingly, the drive was smooth. Slow, yes—but smooth. The roads were nearly empty, snow muffling everything. We made it all the way to our hotel near JFK without incident.

Everyone was happy.

Which, in hindsight, should have worried me.

New York Reminded Us Who’s Boss

The calm ended the moment we got close to JFK.

Traffic appeared out of nowhere. Drivers became aggressively creative. The serenity of the snow-covered highway vanished instantly.

But we made it.

And a day later, we boarded a plane that would take us—and our very tired kids—to a completely new chapter of life.

Why This Move Changed Us

Moving to Finland stripped away convenience and forced us to slow down. It challenged our assumptions about money, time, and what we actually need to be happy.

It turned me into a stay-at-home dad.

It turned my wife into a bridge between two nations.

And it turned our family into something more intentional.

We didn’t move here to “find ourselves.”

But somewhere between fewer possessions, longer walks, and learning how to dress kids for Finnish winters, we did.

And this—awkward, imperfect, and occasionally hilarious—is just the beginning.